DYL #1: Learn how to deal with failure and setbacks

Welcome to the first episode of my weekly series “Develop Your Life” (which ironically is not about you, but all about me although you should be able to relate) where I will show you my own personal development in life, how I apply and execute information that I acquire, how I take control of my life in order to achieve my goals. If you also wish to have the same mindset as me, please carry on reading because this is for you.

Today, I will be writing to you about my first significant failure, what it meant to me and how I dealt with it.

Everyone makes mistakes, everyone experiences failure, after all we’re far from perfection, aren’t we ? There are some failures that you will remember more vividly than others because it happened when it mattered the most to you.

If you don’t already know I’m 17, so it might justify why I’m about to say this but I have only had one big failure so far, maybe it’s because I wasn’t ambitious or brave enough to try more things then I might have had a much higher number but this is a whole other topic we’ll discuss another time.

My big failure was that I wasn’t able to get the academic grades I needed at the end of my first year of Sixth Form, some of you might say grades are not the be-all and end-all of life but for Medicine it’s kind of a big deal.

If you’re not able to prove that you’re a consistently strong academic student then should you deserve the chance to compete for a spot among those who have done what you weren’t able to do ? The answer is one of the simplest words in the English language, “No”.

That was the position I was in, although I knew I was smart enough, my parents did and everyone else who knew me did. I just wasn’t able to perform the way I should have when it came down to it, I severely under achieved, instead of shining like a star I became a black hole of depression, disappointment and any other negative feelings you could name.

I had not only let myself down but also everyone who believed in me. The look in their eyes; the lack of trust, the questions, the doubt, I could see it all but what excuse was I going to make up for this ? None because I was fully responsible.

During the summer holidays, I spent a lot of time on my own, it felt logical to isolate myself because I knew that anyone else would simply keep on dragging me down whether it was consciously or unconsciously, I knew the law of association wouldn’t work in my favor until I hadn’t fixed myself.

For those of you who do not know the law of association, it states that you will become the average of the people you spend the most time with, in my case, I wasn’t proving that I was good enough to access a group of high achievers but I was good enough to not belong in a group of low(er) achievers, therefore I was on my own. I had to find an answer to the following five questions:

“How can I learn from this situation for the next time I face a similar situation?”

“Why is it not over?”

“Where are you in regards to your objective?”

“What can I learn from someone else who was successful in a similar situation?”

“Who do you need to be in order to achieve your objective?”

Notice that none of these questions gave me an answer on what to do but rather on the sort of person I needed to become in order to achieve my objective because I was fully aware that I had the knowledge required but before I could start doing something, I had to have the mindset of person capable of that action.

This is the “Be, do, have” principle. Once you are, then you can do. Once you do, then you have.

I came back to school feeling like a whole new person, I was driven, confident and successful. My grades rapidly rose from D’s and E’s to B’s and A’s even in my worst subjects, from the bottom to the top of the class, my teachers told me that whatever I was doing different to before it is definitely working.

I would just smile or laugh at that because they couldn’t see that who I was reflected on what I was doing, if I was too complacent then my actions suffered from it, if I was thinking like a successful person then so were my actions.

I am still far from finishing my school year but I can proudly say that I overcame my failure and am now on track to a successful completion of my objective.

What about you ? Leave a comment below to share what your significant failures were and how you have dealt with them. If you have any questions for me or want me to elaborate on some of the terms or principles I have used, please ask ! Also leave a like, share to those who are missing out and subscribe to my blog if you have enjoyed this first Develop Your Life (DYL) so you can get a notification of this weekly series because there’s more where that came from !

Pierre-André.

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2 thoughts on “DYL #1: Learn how to deal with failure and setbacks

  1. hello thought id share some feedback on your blog, think you should add some more pictures cheers please follow on my blog, be nice 2 have feedback as well 🙂

    Like

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